Thursday, November 17, 2011

Deployment: 0, Us: 2

I know I don't typically post much personal stuff on here. I'm a fairly private person. I am very active on Facebook & Twitter, but those accounts are protected. I've had a Live Journal since 2003, which has been the recorder for some of my very private thoughts, but it's protected. This blog is public, so I typically don't give too much of myself.

As you can tell from my header, I am an Air Force Wife. But only because my husband is in the military. I honestly have very little to do with the military, and other than my insane love for the commissary, I don't like very much about being an "Air Force Wife". I have a whole list of things that irritate me about the base here, and their policies, procedures and complete lack of awareness for spouses that actually have jobs, but this post is positive, and public, so I won't go there. I'm an Air Force Wife, but I don't adhere to the school of thought that my life is difficult, special, or that I deserve special treatment because of it. Graham CHOSE this job. He CHOSE this lifestyle. And I CHOSE him. Living this life, deployments and all, was my choice. It's not any harder that being a firefighters wife, or a police officers wife. We get acknowledged and referred to as a special breed because we deal with deployments. I had a friend in college who was engaged to a guy who lived in England. She once went a year and three months without seeing him. That's longer than both of the deployments that Graham and I have been through put together. When you love someone, you do what you have to do.

Anyways. Back to the point. Last night, after 6.33 months/27.57 weeks/193 days, my husband returned from a six month deployment in Kuwait.

We had been through a deployment before ( we actually got engaged after he returned home from the last one), but this one was different. Last year, we were already in a long distance relationship. We were used to going a month (or sometimes longer) at a time without seeing each other. But this time we were married. I moved to Arkansas to be with him in January. We got married on April 23. He deployed May 7. We had a little over four months of total togetherness, and we both got SO spoiled having that time together. We're not the most exciting couple. Most of our nights consisted of curling up on the couch together and eating really good food. And I missed that so much.

Making it even harder was the lack of a support system here. I haven't made any friends here. It's hard for me to make friends. I'm lucky enough to have a job I really like, and to work with people that are great, but it's not the same as the awesome friends I have back home. So I was lonely. A lot. I know everyone thinks I'm turning into the crazy cat lady, but this cat made my life so much easier while he was gone. I love animals, but this one is special. We adopted him from a shelter on January 14, and I don't know if I would have made it without him. People say cats are mean, anti-social... that's a load of crap. At least when it comes to Buddy. He was company for me. He needed me. He's so loving. And having another living being in this house just made me feel so much less lonely. He really has made our little family complete.

I have so much in my head right now, but above all else, I'm just so happy. I've been so full of anxiety all week. I've been anxious over BIG things (thinking his plane would crash) to silly things (worrying the cat wouldn't remember him) and when that plane touched down, all of that went away. It seemed to take forever for them to disembark, but when they did, and I saw him... It's a moment I'll never forget. I feel silly that if effected me so much, when I've been through a deployment & homecoming before, but it was just different this time. And when I flung myself at him, and felt his arms wrap around me, I just felt this overwhelming sense of pure and total joy. While I don't wish for anyone to have to be separated from someone they love for six months, I do wish more people could experience that feeling. I think less people would ever settle if they could feel that.

1 comment:

  1. First of all, I am so happy Graham is home, safe and sound. While you may not wish for anyone to be separated from the one they love for an extended period of time, they might come to realize how much those trivial, small and stupid things they tend to argue about don't really matter. Life really is too short. I loved this post. It was so full of loving thoughts and emotion.


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